Technically incorrect: Robot sex has come a long way since the early days. But, boy, were those early days rough.
You probably can’t wait for your unreliable, moody, ill-mannered lover to be replaced by a sturdy, consistent, polite robot.
You’ve likely already experimented with a little robot sex. At least in your mind, surely.
But have you ever thought about those who came before you? Have you ever thought about the pioneers who began to conceive of a robot becoming your ultimate pleasure center?
Conan O’Brien decided to pay them and their hard work a tribute.
There was the creator of the Flappertron. Who could forget the man who invented Daddy’s Secret? And then there was the Gassy Chassis.
Each of these men — why were they all men? — deserve their place on the podium of progressive scientific thinking.
Many lost their dignity, if not their lives, in the pursuit of man’s pursuit of sexual satisfaction.
They toiled away in their laboratories, garages and, no doubt, bedrooms in order to bring us to where we are today, where there are at least 42 (allegedly) robots for you to have sex with (naturally, you should think twice about exploring that link while at work).
You might not feel the need for such mechanical companions right now. You may feel that your own companion is mechanical enough.
But these men’s work represents the future. These men will one day be revered for the contributions they made, the imagination with which they took to their task, and the sheer selflessness involved in helping you become involved with a robot.
These great scientists have ensured that no man will be left blissless. Just think how happy the future will be.